 |
 |
Questions and Answers about Crossdressing
|
|||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| Life Story |
|
||||||||
|
|
Questions and Answers about Crossdressing
|
|||||||
|
|
|||||||||
| Life Story |
|
||||||||
Why do you crossdress?
How did you get this way?
Have you ever seen a psychologist or psychiatrist to get cured?
Why don't you just stop doing this?
Why don't you just be the way God made you?
What does your wife have to say about this?
What about your children?
What about persons outside the family?
Do you go out in public crossdressed?
How much time do you spend crossdressing?
What are your transgendered dreams?
How does crossdressing make you understand womanhood more?
Why do you crossdress? I crossdress because I love the realm of femininity and have discovered that much of my inner person is feminine. This love of the feminine is so strong that besides enjoying working with and having fun with women, I also want to emulate them and enjoy things that are normally attributed only to women. This includes wearing their clothes, enjoying a feminine facial and body appearance through makeup and body shaping and padding, and enjoying a women's hair style through use of a wig.
How did you get this way? Let's answer this by asking you some questions? What's your favorite color? What foods do you like to eat? What do you like to do for fun? What is your sexual preference?
Now tell me how it was that you came about knowing what your favorite color, food, fun activity and sexual preference was. Did you decide one day to pick all the favorite things in you life, or did it just seem to develop naturally over time, maybe through experiences that were enjoyable to you or had some effect on you?
Some feel they are born this way. Others feel early behavioral and social experiences contributed to it. These experiences include but are not limited to being dressed up as a girl at a young age, lack of strong masculine image in father etc. Some know of their transgenderism at an early age. For others it takes many years to discover.
For me, I had early childhood experiences that were feminine, and adolescent experimenting with ladies clothes. I was never aware of transgenderism during these youthful years. A 25-year period of no crossdressing tendencies passed as I was married and raised a family. Discovery came after age 40 accompanied by much confusion and misinformation...probably the same misinformation that you, the reader, is accustomed to. A quest for knowledge and truth on the subject, a loving caring wife and family, and support of other crossdressers has brought me to acceptance.
...to Questions...
Have you ever seen a psychologist or psychiatrist to get cured? First, I am not sick, nor is crossdressing a mental illness. Most psychologists are not experts in the subject and thus provide little help. None can prove success in 'curing' crossdressing. For me, I would be wasting my time and money, since I accept my crossdressing and have no major problems in my life because of it. On the plus side, there are psychologists who are in the know about crossdressing and are extremely helpful and caring about those persons in true need of help. Yet, they do not claim to have a cure.
Why don't you just stop doing this? Why would I want to stop doing something that is so enjoyable to me? I love it! I don't cause anyone harm by it. I respect womanhood and dress and act respectfully.
Why don't you just be the way God made you? Just look at God's creation. Isn't it full of wonders and variety? Just look at a group of people. Each has differences and similarities. Each is beautiful because each is unique. We didn't get to choose our parents, race, sex, color of eyes or hair. We were born with unique personality and physical traits. I was born this way. I am the way God made me...and I am thankful for all that I am.
What does your wife have to say about this? At first this was a shock to her and I, being very confused about my gender feelings, wasn't much of a help. Over time, as I reached self-acceptance, she became more used to me and allowed me my time and space for gender activities. She has seen me dressed many times. We strive for a balance that keeps enough of my masculine life in the forefront so that she still has a man for a husband, and not a girl friend. Honest communication has been the hallmark of keeping our marriage successful. We talked a lot, and let our feelings be known. We both had to adjust to accommodate the needs of the other. There was and still is a lot of give and take. Through all this we have found out things about ourselves that have caused even more growth in our relationship. As a result of her example of giving in to me, I have been able to give encouragement and freedom to her to take new bold steps in her life. These adventures she has undertaken have stimulated tremendous growth in her own person.
...to Questions...
What about your children? I have fathered several children and each was told when I felt they were ready. All were over 18 when they came to know of it. I wanted them to learn about Amanda from me and no one else. I was open and honest with them. Reactions ranged from surprise to supportive. None turned away from me because of it. They have seen me dressed and my daughters have even been out shopping with me. They all still love me and accept me as I am. And I love and care for each of them very much.
What about persons outside the family? Only a few others know or suspect that I crossdress. Each has remained a friend and we still have good rapport with each other. Crossdressing is treated honestly and openly and often with a sense of humor.
Do you go out in public crossdressed? Yes indeed. It's a freedom thing. To stay locked behind closed doors limits your expression and enjoyment of your feminine person. What lady would stay home just because she's a lady? I have been shopping, to theatres, concerts, church, dining, art expositions, swimming, and even a business convention dressed as a woman. I dress and act dignified, and have rarely been recognized as a male in a dress.
How much time do you spend crossdressing? I like to spend a few hours a week at it. On the average I only spend less than 3% of my week dressed as a woman. Seldom do I get dressed up just to dress up. If I am going to spend a couple hours getting ready, I usually have a destination in mind, such a shopping, dinner or a play.
...to Questions...
What are your transgendered dreams? I dream of a more understanding world where all people can exist in their own style of living without scorn simply because they are different. This includes the desire to freely dress as I wish and go about my daily business in either woman's or man's garb. My dream extends far beyond crossdressing to everyone else who was ever discriminated against unjustly. Whether by nationality, religion, race, bodily features, handicaps, gender, sex, sexual preference, income, education level and on and on, it is my deep hope that such bigotry and hatred of others who are different would cease forever.
How does crossdressing make you understand womanhood more? In the beginning I just began to understand the outward things. The clothing, styles, makeup, hairdo's etc. I learned why it took my wife and daughters so long to get ready, and the fuss they had over what to wear and how to coordinate outfits, shoes and jewelry. Along with the external, the internal also started to develop. More attention was focused on feelings, how I said things, learning to listen rather than just talking, greater compassion, and awareness of women's issues including harassment and discrimination. I also learned that I could never fully be a woman, but could for periods of time move completely into the inner gender feelings of a woman.
